Age dysphoria is a persistent feeling of incongruence between your internal age, that you feel you are, and your actual chronological age. An individual with age dysphoria may feel they are still a child, even if they have lived long enough to be considered adults by others. This is a deep and persistent feeling. Those with age dysphoria are a child in most of their dreams and fantasies, and would take any chance of becoming a real child again, almost no matter the cost.
On this website we have collected information about age dysphoria, to help raise awareness. We have also collected information to you who experience age dysphoria, with suggestions how you can improve your life situation.
Is age dysphoria a real diagnosis?
No, unfortunately age dysphoria is not yet recognized by any health care professional anywhere in the world.
We are advocating for it becoming a recognized diagnosis, as prevalence seems to be high and this population is struggling a lot in life.
Social dysphoria
Social dysphoria is the distress felt when presenting as, or being referred to or treated by others as someone else than you feel you are internally. If you feel you are a child inside, you may feel distress when reminded of your chronological age, such as around birthdays or if someone asks your age. You may feel distress when doing typical adult activities, or when invited to such activities. You may just want to flee the adult life altogether.
Social dysphoria can often be overcome by reminding yourself and others about the fact that you are a child inside. There is no right or wrong way to be a child. The important thing is to be yourself, as you want to be. It might be what kind of clothes you wear, or the way you act. It might be how you choose to view the world, or how your social connections look like. It may be the things you like to do on your free time, or toys or comfort items you have, or how you decorate your home.
Try to find a balance where you can be your child-like self in all social situations, without being a burden to others. It may feel awkward at first to dress more child-like or be more playful in public, but this feeling tends to pass quickly, and you might find others are surprisingly accepting.
Body dysphoria
Body dysphoria is the distress felt when your internal image of self does not match how you actually look. You may expect to see a prepubescent or early pubescent child when looking in the mirror, but sees an adult. Some age dysphoric individuals only experience mild body dysphoria, such as a feeling of sadness, others experience so strong body dysphoria they cannot force themselves to look in a mirror, and desperately want to escape their bodies. You might even struggle to care for your hygiene, as seeing your naked body can be very painful.
Body dysphoria can be especially painful for an age dysphoric individual to cope with, as they might feel there is nothing that can be done about it. Some who experience strong body dysphoria may consider medical or surgical treatment to make their body or face more child-like, but lack of treatment options and availability is a huge problem for this population.
Things you may find helpful is to wear child-like loose fitting clothes that cover the whole body, such as sweatshirts and pants a size too large. Many also find sleeping in pajamas helpful. Getting rid of mirrors and reflective surfaces, and photos of yourself can help you avoid having to see your face or silhouette. Some also prefer to remove their body hair.
Affinity towards children
It is common that those with age dysphoria feel a strong affinity towards children, while simultaneously struggle to connect with adults in meaningful ways. You may feel a longing to be with children, and enjoy yourself when you play together with children in a way you never do otherwise. You may feel connections with children are deeply meaningful to you, and that being with children brings a lot of light into your life. Yet, you may struggle to form even a single friendship connection with an adult, and may feel all adults are boring.
This can lead to feeling a deep level of loneliness, when you aren't able to be with children.
If you want to spend more time with children, spending time with nieces and nephews, and volunteer working with children are good suggestions. Many feel that brings them much joy in life. You may also find much joy in friendships with adults who are playful and childish, or who affirms you as a child in how they interact with you, so don't give up on friendships with adults.
Emotional immaturity
Many with age dysphoria often have the kinds of emotions and strength of emotions that are common among children. You may react very strongly, such as becoming very happy or excited, or very upset and angry. Adults may tell you that your reactions were not proportional to what happened, or not appropriate. Many also struggle to understand adults and their intentions. You may feel unsafe among adults, or feel adults pose a threat to you, or to children. This can lead to conflicts. You may also easily feel overwhelmed when you have to interact with the adult world or do adult responsibilities that are unavoidable.
Remember that your feelings are valid, whatever others tell you. But sometimes it can be easier for others to understand why you react the way you do if you tell others that you have emotional feelings and reactions like a child, and struggle with the same kinds of things a child would struggle with emotionally. Talking to a psychologist may also help you find ways to better navigate situations that feel emotionally overwhelming to you.
Many feel having a safe space to escape to after a long hard day is helpful. Create a safe space for you, such as your room, where you can just be a child. Fill it with all the comfort items you would need to soothe yourself. It is okay to feel overwhelmed by the adult world and the expectations from it, and take refuge from it for a while.
Living conditions
Moving out to your own place can be a frightening experience for someone with age dysphoria. It is natural to be scared of taking that step to independence, when you feel like you are still a child. But oftentimes, the feelings of worry does not reflect the reality well, as you probably are capable of doing all things needed in a home by yourself, cognitively, just, it feels really scary on an emotional level to live alone. Many experience feelings of loneliness and abandonment at first, but eventually start to appreciate the independence. Many also feel a sense of pride in succeeding with living by themselves, and that it gives them more freedoms to be more authentic to themselves.
Cooking is often challenging for those with age dysphoria. Many choose to buy frozen meals that can be heated up instead. Working can also be a challenge. Some choose to apply for disability instead. Social contacts and contexts can also be challenging. Society often offers meeting places for those who struggle with loneliness or mental health issues, but volunteer working is often also appreciated.
Remember, it is okay to be different. It is okay to not have a job, to not cook your own food, to not drive a car, or to not have friends. Shape your own life, that works for you and is meaningful to you. You will find a way to give back to society in your own way.
History
Descriptions of age dysphoria originally appeared around 2008, but it wasn't until around 2017 that age dysphoria began being recognized more widely in online communities. Since then, several tens of thousands of individuals have identified with the description of age dysphoria, many whom have been able to describe to themselves what they are feeling for decades before finally finding a term for it.
There is no reason to believe age dysphoria as the experience is new, as child-like behavior among certain chronological adults have been observed since at least the 1960s.
As of now, age dysphoria is not recognized by the medical profession, or society at large.
Statistics
To date, there are no statistics at all about prevalence of age dysphoria in society at large, nor any reliable statistics about characteristics of those who identify as age dysphoric. It may still be interesting to know some statistics, even if unreliable, so below some poll results from a single online community for age dysphoric individuals is collected.
15% report their doctor, therapist or psychiatrist was aware of age dysphoria when they sought help for it. 60% reports being autistic. 65% report having childhood trauma. 45% report having gender dysphoria in addition to age dysphoria. 35% report they started experiencing age dysphoria before their 15th birthday, 40% between their 15th and 18th birthday, and 25% after their 18th birthday. 80% report being asexual or sex-repulsed. 50% report they identify as female, 30% as male, and 20% as non-binary. Although no poll exists, age dysphoria is common through all chronological ages.
Health issues
No formal study of the physical and mental health among those with age dysphoria has been carried out to date, but it is well known that long exposures to other kinds of dysphoria without adequate treatment often leads to poor mental health and other serious health issues.
Although many with age dysphoria live generally happy lives, about half of members in one online community for age dysphoric individuals reported they experience severe and prolonged levels of distress without adequate relief, and one forth of members reported they experience so severe distress they feel suicide is the only way out. These findings, if they can be generalized to the age dysphoric population as a whole, would be consistent with what is reported for other kinds of dysphoria, such as gender dysphoria.
It is important that you who have age dysphoria seek professional help, both for your age dysphoria and other mental health issues you might have. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, reach out to your local suicide hotline, or if urgent, the emergency number.
Stigma
Individuals with age dysphoria are often targets of stigma.
Many adults view adulthood as the ultimate goal in life, and could never understand why someone would wish to be a child and return to living as a child. They might dismiss the experiences of those with age dysphoria as a joke or an attempt at trolling. They might react with anger and tell the individual with age dysphoria to grow up or act like an adult. They might view individuals with age dysphoria as sick, and tell them to "seek help".
Many adults also can not understand why one would want to play with and interact with chronological children, and may assume it has predatory reasons. Individuals with age dysphoria are often viewed with suspicion and caution when around chronological children, and often discouraged from interacting with them entirely.
Dealing with this stigma can be hard, and often leads to poor mental health and isolation. Surrounding yourself with people who are understanding and accepting of you, and staying on known safe and well-moderated online communities for those with age dysphoria can help a lot. Your experiences are valid, remember that. Don't let the haters get to you.
Similar conditions
Gender dysphoria can cause very similar symptoms of body dysphoria as age dysphoria does, such as dysphoria over secondary sexual characteristics. The two dysphorias are easily mistaken for each other. Some people only experience gender dysphoria or age dysphoria, others may experience both, and either may be stronger than the other. One thing you can ask yourself is, which would you rather be, a child of your current sex, or an adult of the opposite sex?
Autism can cause a persistent feeling of not being like others your chronological age. Age incongruence among autistic individuals are very common. You may feel far more mature that others in some regards, even like an elderly, and may feel far more immature than others in other regards, even like a child. But most with autism do not experience actual dysphoric feelings, and do not deeply wish to become a real child again.
Many may experience some discomfort or fear about growing old, and may mourn the time that has now passed. This is normal, especially around significant birthdays. This is a transient feeling that goes away within a few years, and does not involve feeling like a child inside or desperately wanting to become a child, just a temporary discomfort over aging or having aged. It should not be confused with age dysphoria.
About and contact
This website is written based on my interactions with individuals identifying as having age dysphoria, and based on reading social media, forum and blog posts on the topic.
If you want to reach out to me and talk, or have a suggestion for this website, feel free to email me at contact@agedysphoria.info.
Online communities
The Reddit community r/nevergrewup is an active and neutral community for those with age dysphoria. It caters to those who feel like the youngest children inside, to those who feel like teenagers. Don't be discouraged if content you cannot relate to age wise is posted there.
A word of caution: If someone reaches out to you and want to become your caregiver, it is probably too good to be true.
Vocabulary
When interacting with age dysphoric individuals, you may come across various community specific terms. Here we try to explain the most common ones.
Mental age - The age you feel you really are inside. Some experience being a specific age, some experience being within a range of ages, e.g. between 6-10.
Chronological age - The number of years you have lived.
NGU - Abbreviation of Never Grew Up, often pronounced "en-gee-you". Those with a mental age between 0-18, and much younger than their chronological age.
Everchild - Another name for NGU. Some prefer this name.
Permakid - Another name for NGU. Some prefer this name.
Kidult - Another name for NGU. Some prefer this name.
Neverlander - Another name for NGU. Some prefer this name.
Transage - A more general term for those that have a different mental age than chronological age, younger or older. Most who identify as transage are mentally children.
Chronosian - Another name for transage. Some prefer this name.
Altage - Another name for transage. Some prefer this name.
Permaregressed - A term originating in the age regression community to describe some members who seem to always be stuck in a child's headspace, not voluntarily or involuntarily regressing to a child's headspace temporarily.
Chronochild / Bio kid - Those who chronologically are children, and most people think about as children.